Women's greatest regrets revealed

London: A recent poll has revealed that maximum number of women regret of not performing well in the school, not losing weight on diet and for choosing a wrong career path.

The polling conducted by Diet Coke for their 'Regret Nothing Campaign' has showed that women even regret of not choosing a right property and even on spending night with someone they shouldn't have, the Mirror reported.

The regrets like not being spontaneous, or being impulsive and not being a good daughter or a friend hampers women's lives and makes them regret on such issues.

Around 1,000 women who were surveyed regret that they didn't travel before starting a family, and even for not having children, or being a better mum.

Women even have regrets in their lives such as texting someone they shouldn't after a night out, or for not having a dream wedding, and even sometimes of having an affair, or settling down, and to focus much on their career.

A spokesperson of Diet Coke said that the findings show that women are harbouring their regretsand not living life in present, and with this they gave a message to inspire women to act on their impulses to create positive experiences, adventures and opportunities for success.

Women - the soft target of the natural disasters

New Delhi: Floods in Jammu and Kashmir had grabbed the attention of the entire nation but were soon pushed to the last pages of the newspapers and were then forgotten in the battle of the politics during the Assembly elections

Similar was the case with the floods in Uttarakhand. Entire nation was in a shock till the time the news channels were broadcasting it every minute and newspapers were publishing the heart-wrenching pictures of stranded people caught between the landslides and the villages that were washed away.

These past events will only be remembered when nature strikes again. Most of us fail to realize that these so called events do not happen suddenly. An analysis done by Centre for Science and Environment (CSE) suggests that these events could very well be manifestation of an extreme weather event - induced by a changing climate.

"The Kashmir floods are a grim reminder that climate change is now hitting India harder. In the last 10 years, several extreme rainfall events have rocked the country, and this is the latest calamity in that series," said Chandra Bhushan, CSE deputy director general and the head of its climate change team. In a report published in Down to Earth, a list of such extreme events includes the Mumbai floods of 2005, the Leh cloudburst of 2010 and the Uttarakhand floods of 2013. In each of these disasters, thousands have died and the economic losses incurred have run into thousands of crores of rupees.

Figures released by the Uttarakhand State government claim that more than 5,000 people were presumed dead. Destruction of bridges and roads trapped more than 100,000 pilgrims and tourists in the valley. In Jammu and Kashmir, over 6 lakh people were stranded and about 200 were killed.

The statistics are sad but the sadder part is that the victims are treated as mere statistics - forgotten soon after all the hype ends. The real challenge, however, starts once the affected people are left to manage on their own. Though the nature doesn't discriminate between a man and a woman while creating havoc, it is in the aftermath that the real discrimination starts - away from statistics and the game of breaking news.

In Uttarakhand, after the floods, women and children became vulnerable to the consequences of the disaster as they face particular threats to their safety. This includes an increased risk of gender-based violence. Displacement, stress and trauma are familiar features following a disaster and tend to intensify pre-existing risk factors for domestic abuse.

"My husband who worked at a hotel in Kedarnath went missing after the floods. We lost our livestock and were left with a dilapidated house. The only opportunity that knocked my door was to work as a domestic help in Delhi but one of the NGOs working in my village saved me from surrendering to the situation," said twenty-eight year old Sunita Devi (name changed) of Chandrapuri Village in Rudraprayag District who is now working in a Self-help group called Ghati Swayam Sahayta Samooh.

"Sunita was fortunate enough not to get trapped in the circumstances but the outbreak of the poverty after the disaster has pushed many young girls, boys and women into trafficking.

However, trafficking of young girls is not new thing in hills but post floods this has worsened as people are poorer and more desperate," said Shivam Rohtela, a social activist from Rudraprayag.

The wounds of the 2013 disaster are still fresh as reflected in the tears of fifty-eight year old Kamla Devi who had lost her entire family in the floods. "She had suffered a mental trauma then and it took six months for her to speak. Today, she has come to terms with life but doesn't speak with anyone," said one of the neighbors.

Disasters undoubtedly impact women more than men. As per data collected by UNDP from one hundred and forty disaster affected countries, it was observed that disasters lower women's life expectancy more than men's. Women, boys and girls are 14 times more likely than men to die during a disaster.

In situations where food is scarce, women are often expected to serve men and boys first, resulting in particular post-disaster nutritional risks for women. Women often also have particular needs for healthcare and sanitation, and tend to undertake specific household duties, which can impact on their ability to access humanitarian assistance.

They also have the responsibility of collecting fuel wood, grass and water for the family and livestock. Disaster usually increases the workload on women who have to walk extra mile in hilly terrains to collect them.

In Uttarakhand, women have to now walk three-four kilometers extra in order to collect water and grass. It affects their physical health even more. "We try to reduce the stress by singing songs in our local language while cutting grass," said forty-two year old Asha Devi from Sumari Bhardhar in Jekholi Block of Rudraprayag district. With the heavy loads over their heads and back, they walk with great difficulty on that serpentine trail. "We cannot afford to stop collecting grass for our livestock. If we want milk for our family, we need to feed our cattle good quality grass," said Asha Devi.

These women along with several others hint towards the importance of gender disaster data. The Charkha Development Communication Network feels that there is an urgent need to develop their capacity by involving them in disaster planning and preparedness. There is no point discussing the effects of natural disasters on women and men separately after the damage has been done but to take the right steps at the right time to make sure they suffer minimum loss during these unfortunate incidences.

By:Chetna Verma

(ANI)

Double-layered veils and despair … women describe life under Isis

Women living under Islamic State’s control in Iraq and Syria are facing increasingly harsh restrictions on movement and dress, which are rigorously enforced by religious police and are leading to resentment and despair among moderate Muslims.

Residents of Mosul, Raqqa and Deir el-Zour have told the Guardian in interviews conducted by phone and Skype that women are forced to be accompanied by a male guardian, known as a mahram, at all times, and are compelled to wear double-layered veils, loose abayas and gloves.

Their testimonies follow the publication this month of an Isis “manifesto” to clarify the “realities of life and the hallowed existence of women in the Islamic State”. It said that girls could be married from the age of nine, and that women should only leave the house in exceptional circumstances and should remain “hidden and veiled”.

Sama Maher, 20, a resident of Raqqa who has been detained several times by Isis religious police, known as Hisbah, for violating Isis rules, said: “It is prohibited for a woman in Raqqa or Deir el-Zour to move anywhere outside without a mahram, a male guardian. It is a big problem as I do not have any, we are only five sisters.”

Isis has closed universities in areas under its control, she added. “I had to quit my university studies in Aleppo because I’m not allowed to cross the checkpoints without a mahram and leave the city by myself like before.”

Male guardians are subject to punishment if women are not complying with the prescribed dress code. In Mosul, Isis published a charter within weeks of taking taking control of the city, restricting women’s movements and imposing dress requirements. Women were instructed to wear a Saudi-style black veil of two layers to conceal their eyes and a loose robe designed by Isis after it said some abayas revealed body outlines.

Many women initially objected to the Isis order but complied when they realised they could be beaten, humiliated and fined, and their husbands might be punished. Men are now forcing their wives and daughters to stay at home to avoid confrontations with Hisbah, which issues orders via the internet or by posting written statements at shops warning against violations of Islamic rules in the city.

“They forced women of all ages to wear a veil, even though the majority of the women in Mosul wear a hijab,” paediatrician Maha Saleh, 36, said. “The Hisbah would hit a woman on her head with a stick if she was not wearing a veil.

“At the beginning, some female doctors refused to wear veils and went on a strike by staying at home. Hisbah took ambulances and went to their houses and brought them by force to the hospital. One of my colleagues was alone in her clinic in the hospital and thought it was all right to strip off her veil. All of a sudden, two Hisbah broke in her room and reproached her for not wearing the veil and warned her not to do that again.”

In Raqqa, the Isis “capital” in Syria, women were initially ordered to wear a black abaya covering the entire body. Soon after, a command to wear a veil was issued, then a third ordered a shield on top of the abaya. Women are also instructed to wear only black, including gloves and shoes. Isis subsequently ordered women to hide their eyes, requiring a a double-layered veil.

Mosul resident Sabah Nadiem said: “I went once with my wife to one of the old souqs to do some shopping, and after a short while I lost her among the crowd. The problem was that all the women were wearing veils and it was hard to know who was my wife. I was utterly scared to make a mistake and go for the wrong woman. It would be a disaster to fall into Hisbah hands. I could not even use my mobile as the network was down.” Nadiem said he called out his wife’s name loudly in the souq until she heard him and they were reunited.

Hisbah patrols tour Isis-controlled cities to ensure that women and men are behaving in accordance with Islamic rules. If they spot a woman in the street not wearing a shield or gloves, sometimes they offer her “Islamic dress” with a pair of gloves and advise her not to go out again without them, or they take her to Hisbah headquarters and keep her there until her mahram arrives. The mahram may be fined or could be subjected to lashes.

Children are not exempt from strict dress codes. When schools opened in Mosul last October, Samar Hadi, a mother of five, sent her two daughters – Hala, six, and Tiba, seven, – to school without a hijab, as she had the year before.

“After two days, the headmistress told them that they all have to wear the hijab when they come to school. So I made them wear the hijab. Then an Isis order came to stipulate that only girls in 4th, 5th and 6th class in primary school have to wear hijab, not 1st and 2nd classes.”

Most Married Men Date Other Men's Wives: Jitan Ram Manjhi

While struggling to hang on to his political seat, Bihar Chief Minister Jitan Ram Manjhi is still finding time to dole out absurd remarks to the media.

In an interview with India Today, Manjhi said that most men prefer to go on outings with women other than their wives.

"Only 2-5 per cent men go on outings with their wives. Others go out on dates with other men's wives. There is nothing wrong in having a girlfriend. If you go to Patna's Eco park it's not only unmarried people who are hanging out together. If both the man and the woman are adults and their relationship is consensual, there is nothing wrong in having an affair. This a personal choice," he said.

Manjhi made this comment in the context of his own son being caught having an affair with a married police woman in August 2014.

The embattled chief minister was in Delhi to meet BJP leaders following JD(U) leader Nitish Kumar's bid to head the government. Kumar claims to have the support of 130 lawmakers. On Feb 20, Manjhi will have to win a trust vote on the floor of the Bihar legislative assembly.

“They are frightening MLAs with rumour that I am working for imposing the President’s Rule in Bihar. It’s completely untrue. If I had wished so, I would have recommended it long back. I will win trust vote on February 20,” he told reporters on Monday.

At least until the trust vote is over, Manjhi should consider not sharing his bizarre thoughts with the world.

5 relationship blunders which lead to a break up

Relationships are built on mutual trust and understanding, jealousy and expectations, create a fissure, which eventually leads to a breakup. Women, at times, make some common relationship blunders, without realizing they are hazardous to their commitment. We bring to you most common mistakes which build up to a break up.

Don't get overtly jealous

If you are overtly jealous, it is time to ponder over the causes. Jealousy constitutes as one of the main causes for a breakup. Checking your guy's phone, Facebook or internet history tells him you don't trust him and that you're jealous, which will cause an altercation.

Don't try to change him

How can you fall in love with someone, whose personality traits you obviously dislike. The habits, or the behaviour of your partner, if irks you so much that you want them to change, poses a potent question. Why and how did you fall in love with them in the first place? If the man is a real man who's comfortable with who he is, flaws or not, he'll probably want to end it eventually.

Men and women are different

Don't expect your partner to react to things, the way you want them to. He is a separate individual, with thinking capacity different from yours. In reality, men are not anything like you. Understanding this and applying it to your relationship will save you a lot of headaches.

Show gratitude when he does something nice

If you diss him, and point out his mistakes at the drop of a hat, make sure you acknowledge his kindness too. A little gratitude goes a long way. Most people want to feel appreciated. If you are thankful, be sure to show it. Rather than pointing out where he falls short, point out the ways in which he makes your life better.

Don't stop living your life

Just because you are in a relationship, don't stop living your own life. Women usually commit the mistake of ignoring their social life, while focusing on their partner's. It will eventually make you clingy, depending on your man for company. Men, on the other hand entertain no such transformations.